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From our survey

A caregiver script for joining a loved one's appointment

Walking into someone else's doctor appointment is awkward. You are not the patient. You do not want to take over. But you have watched them struggle for months, and you know things the doctor needs to hear. This script is for that exact moment, written for caregivers in St. Charles and the surrounding county.

It covers what to say before the appointment, in the room, and afterward. Use the words as they are or make them your own.

Why the appointment is worth getting right

In June 2026 our poll had 443 adults from ten Midwest states describe how they would go about ketamine or esketamine care for depression. For a first contact, 56 percent would pick their primary doctor. As for who could actually persuade them to try it, their own doctor drew 74 percent and a friend or relative 18 percent. All of it comes from the final validated data.

Read together, those numbers say something about you. Family is the second most influential voice, but the doctor's is the one most people wait for. A good appointment, with the right information in the room, is where your influence and theirs meet.

Part one: the conversation before the appointment

Do not assume you are invited. Ask.

"I'd like to come with you on Thursday if that would help. I can sit in, wait outside, or just drive. What would you want?"

If they say yes to the room, agree on roles:

"Do you want to tell the doctor how you've been feeling, and I'll fill in the medication history? Or would you rather I start?"

And agree on limits:

"If I say something you don't want said, just tell me, and I'll stop."

That last line matters. It keeps the appointment theirs.

Part two: at the front desk

If your loved one wants you to be able to talk to the office later, about scheduling, results, or referrals, they will usually need to sign a release. You can prompt it gently:

"Can we get the form that lets you share information with me? We'd like that on file."

Part three: opening the visit

Many visits lose their first minutes to small talk. If your loved one freezes, you can open for them, with their permission:

"We're here because the depression hasn't improved, even after trying several medications. We wanted to talk about what else might be possible."

Short, specific, and it puts the real reason on the table before the doctor turns to the computer.

Part four: the medication history

This is where caregivers often help most. A person in a depressive episode may genuinely not remember what they have tried.

"Here's a list we put together. It has each antidepressant, roughly when, and what happened. The first one didn't do anything after a couple of months. The second helped a little but the side effects were too much. The current one has been going since spring without much change."

Hand over a written copy. It can go straight into the chart.

Part five: asking about options without pushing

You may have read about esketamine. Your loved one may not have. Most people have not: in our survey, only 6 percent could say what Spravato is. You want to raise it as a question, not a demand.

"We've read that there are approved options for depression that doesn't respond to standard medication, like esketamine or TMS. Is either of those something that could make sense here, or is there a reason they wouldn't?"

Notice the phrase "or is there a reason they wouldn't." It invites the doctor's judgment instead of cornering them. There may well be good reasons a treatment does not fit, such as blood pressure concerns or other health history, and you want to hear them.

Part six: asking about the referral

If the doctor suggests seeing a psychiatrist, get specifics:

"Could you send that referral today? Who is it going to, and how long do people usually wait? Is there someone closer to St. Charles, or should we plan on going into St. Louis?"

And ask about the in-between:

"What should we do if things get worse before that appointment?"

Part seven: the insurance question

Coverage was among the most decisive factors in our survey, weighing big or deciding for 65 percent of respondents. So it is fair to ask:

"If we go down this road, do you know whether a prior authorization is usually needed, and what the office will need from us?"

Part eight: closing

On the way out, restate what you heard:

"So the plan is: stay on the current medication for now, the referral goes to the psychiatry office today, and we call if we haven't heard in two weeks. Did I get that right?"

It sounds formal. It prevents a lot of confusion.

Part nine: the drive home

Hold off on a full debrief in the car. Your loved one may be tired or raw. Try:

"Thanks for letting me come. How are you feeling about it?"

Then let them lead.

What to avoid

The fine print

This script offers words, not medical advice. Spravato, the esketamine brand, has an FDA approval covering grown patients whose depression earlier care could not shift, and certified clinics supervise each dose; Brain Recovery Centers has an explainer on what Spravato treatment asks of patients and families. Ketamine prescribed for home use by telehealth companies is a different, looser arrangement. Your loved one's clinician decides what fits.

If, at any point, your loved one tells you they are thinking about ending their life, reach for 988 right then. Whether they speak or type, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline line stays open through the night at no charge and in confidence. You can call on their behalf, or sit beside them while they call.

Methodology

Pollfish administered survey 395586438 to its consumer panel through June 23, 2026. There are 443 respondents, aged 18 to 64, living in Kansas, Missouri, Ohio, Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Nebraska and Iowa. Pollfish has signed off on validation, so the totals are final. Our publisher commissioned the poll and covered what it cost.